Building

Log 002

The default speed of the world outside; that standard “9-to-5, pay your debts, go to the mall on the weekend” loop has always been too slow and suffocating for me. My brain was shutting down, literally. I could feel it.

At the core, we are all human, yes. As men and women, we operate on the same instincts. Our happiness, joy, and sorrows are shared. But I am also aware that people live in different worlds. Their tastes, expectations, perspectives on life, the things they care about… they are all distinct. Every person has a different tribe. You must find your tribe.

In the modern simulation of this geography; I have encountered so many people who struggle to protect their status quo and their petty, three-cent profits for tomorrow, people who are visionless or trying to be cunning without realizing they look like fools. They tried to drag me into those shallow office dramas, those meaningless power struggles. I didn’t follow the traditional paths, because those paths were either pre-closed for people like me or they were never roads I wanted to walk anyway. I only feel like I am breathing and truly living when I am designing a system, dancing with that complex architecture, reaping the rewards, and sharing it with passion with those I love.

My engineering side and my life philosophy are fueled by the same pragmatism and passion. When there is something better and more elegant available, bowing down to the status quo just to keep the ‘order undisturbed’ goes against my grain. But on the other hand, I am also against that academic and theoretical masturbation of perfection. I would prefer a “good” system that is flawed but functions in the real world over a perfection that is flawless on paper but fails to run.

The goals I set for myself have always been more important than anything else. Even more than breathing. In those moments, I often find even eating to be unnecessary while I work to reach my objectives. That is why I choose my targets with great difficulty, but once I choose them, I never let go.

Is money important? Hell yes, quite. In this system, you survive based on the numeric value in your bank account, and that is the compensation for the value you produce. But the real deal is vision. I will not be one of those who throw their potential in the trash just to stay in their comfort zone or those who accept what exists and stagnate. If necessary, I will even work as a courier to pay the bills; I’ll ride that bike for hours, deliver packages, and stay on my feet.

When I return to that 60-square-meter Headquarters in the evening, instead of opening Netflix to numb my brain, I head to that desk. I pour what is in my head into code, secure my patent, solder hardware, compress kicks in Bitwig, or continue weaving the Synarchy universe. I still do my half-hour kenjutsu training, shadow box, and stay in touch with my body. Then, I drift off and sleep.

Because this is my existence. I wouldn’t know how to do it any other way. Even if I did, I’d get bored and fucking explode.

EOF.